She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
