I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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