I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
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