She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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