i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
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