Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I have aggressive nipples.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Randomize
