we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
