Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Randomize
