it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
