i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Randomize
