he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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