He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Randomize
