Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
