I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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