He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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