On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
