Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Use "feeling words"
Yay
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
