moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
