He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
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