so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
