i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
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