Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize