dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
