She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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