Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
