I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
