O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I'm just crazy horny about you
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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