toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
a search helicopter?!
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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