Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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