How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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