CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Holy sore nipples Batman
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
