She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
