I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
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At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
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But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
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