There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
