I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
You smell like stripper and shame
We named our party play list daddy issues
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
