dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
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