i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
