Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
