just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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