The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
