sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
