idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
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