To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
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