I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize