It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
