so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
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i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
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we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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