You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
