We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
