so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Randomize
