Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Randomize
