no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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