I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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