what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Randomize
