if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
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