i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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