hotel room ftw
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Randomize