I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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