Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
